I was young, but older than most people thought I was. I was only thirteen, but I knew more at that age than even Einstein could even imagine. Yes, I am a genius. In fact I am a genius genius. Or even better, a genius genius genius.

Now, I need to tell you why I am not. A genius genius genius that is.

I really am, but really am not. I know everything, but actually know nothing. If you ask me a question about anything, I can answer you with any kind of explanation I can think of, except for the real answer. I come close to the real answer, but never the truth.

For example, if you ask me why the sun is so hot, I will say because it is on a large stove burner. If you ask me when it will got out I reply, soon because the stove burner is a figment of my imagine I have put into your mind.

Now, to tell you the real truth, is that I can do everything in existence, yet nothing at all. I know, a double discrepancy. But here it applies. I really CAN do everything in existence, but only if I… No, I won’t tell you. You wouldn’t believe me anyway.

Tell you? All right. Here it is. I am, well, I am not me. I am not anyone else either. In fact, I don’t even exist. Yet here I am, existing. I am as real as you are, but am a will of the wisp or a non-existent ghost or a pre-universe disembodied- nothing. Which is exactly what I am. The previous entities don’t exist.

What? That is impossible? If I am really am who I say I am, then how can you deduce that it is impossible? I am here, I am alive, I am.

What does that mean? Are you so stupid that you can’t believe that someone like me can’t exist? Yet here I am.

OK. I will prove it to you. In only a moment you will no longer exist. You will be- nothing.

Have a nice trip…